Thursday, June 23, 2005

The scene I wished that Cecil B Demille would have included

Moses is up on Sinai receiving the entire Torah. Thunder and lightning, clouds, a pillar a fire and a pillar of smoke. The mountain, held like a beer keg, over the heads to the Israelites as an "inducement" for them to accept the Torah.

God: Thou Shalt NOT boil a kid in it's mother's milk!!

Moses: Huh? Does that mean that we shouldn't eat milk and meat together, cook milk and meat together, or even benefit from such combinations?

God: Thou Shalt NOT boil a kid in it's mother's milk!!

Moses: Does that mean that we should have 2 sets of dishes, one for milk and one for meat?

God: Thou Shalt NOT boil a kid in it's mother's milk!!

Moses: Does that mean that if we get some meat on a ceramic dairy dish, we have to break the dish, but if meat gets on dairy silverware we can boil it?

God (getting a little impatient): Thou Shalt NOT boil a kid in it's mother's milk!!

Moses: Does that mean that, if we eat a dairy meal, we can rinse our mouths out and eat meat, but if we eat a meat meal we have to wait 6 hours (an hour and a half if we're Dutch) before we eat dairy?

God (blowing a gasket) : OK, have it YOUR way!!!!

5 Comments:

Anonymous Neo-Conservaguy said...

A classic joke that makes me laugh every time, thanks!

Perhaps the Karaites are correct - rabbinic Judaism and the Oral Tradition reads a bit much into some of these things. Then again, can you imagine a normative religious Jewish life that freely mixed milk and meat? That would be so.... weird. But, I could deal with chicken marinated in yogurt like the "bad old days" before the rabbis screwed that one up...

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