Sunday, January 08, 2006

What would Jesus eat?

"While traveling through the Lone Star State,
I lost my lunch before I ate..."

K. Friedman, possible next Governor of Texas

(Q: If elected, can you, make the Democrats and Republicans work together?
A: I'm running for governor of Texas, not God.)

Anyway, I was in this bookstore in Kinky's very own hometown of Kerrville, Texas. (Don't snigger, you arrogant members of the bicoastal elite. They have books in Texas, and they even know whaqt to do with them. And I don't mean burn them. Texas is a much more nuanced, complex place than DovBear's rants indicate. You can even buy kosher food in Del Rio.)

Anyway, as I was searching through the "Religion" section to see if I could find any Judaica --- yeah, I know that's a fool's errand,, but after I found herring and matzah for sale in Del Rio, every time I go to Texas, I look for evidence of members of the tribe where yo don't expect 'em. -- any way, after perusing the 7 shelves of Jesus books, I found on the bargain shelf, a tome called "What Would Jesus Eat?"

I know, I accidently enetered the alternative universe of Christian Health food nuts. (I'm sure there's also an alternative universe of Orthodox Jewish health food nuts, too, but you could,'t tell that from the Shabbos tables of my black-hatter neighbors.)

Anyway, you'll be pleased to know that Dr. Colbert, the author, is sophisticated enough to know that

"Jesus was a Jewboy hisself..."

as Kinky points out in his immortal song "Tramp on the street." Thus, Dr. Colert advocates that all right-wing bible-thumping evangelical Christians eat only kosher meat. Unfortunately, the good doctor must have gotten his information about kashrut from a 19th or early 20th century Reform rabbi, becuase he claims that kashrut was mandated "for health reasons."

Who should volunteer to enlighten the good doctor as to the real meaning of kashrut? Not me, I'm a cynical apikorus, and based on my experience of running a kosher kitchen, I think it's all a plot by the rabbis to drive the Jewish people crazy (as if they don't need any help.) And molst important, this must be done carefully, so as not to disillusion the doctor. Imagine what would happen if all the Chrisitans started eating only kosher meat. Avialability would go up and price would go down. Even cynical little apikorus me might enterain the possibility that mashiach is on his or her way.....


Blogger Stephen said...

Maybe someday us Goyim will learn to respect the Torah and obey it just because G-d says many Christians are famous for saying 'G-d said it, I believe it, that settles it', then in the same breath they say 'the Torah is for yesterday', and 'let's go have a ham sandwich!' Perhaps that's why there's trichinosis and hepatitis?

12:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Perhaps that's why there's trichinosis and hepatitis?

But the purpose of kashrut is make the Jews a Holy people. It has nothing to do with health. Part of the meaning of "holy" is something that is seperate. If all the goyim start keeping kosher, that will decrease the differences between Jews and Gentiles, and thus diminish the holiness of the Jewish people, thus defeating the purpose of kashrut.

Besides, it wouldn't be much of a spiritual challenge is God only forbade food that was unhealthy and disgusting. Treif food is treif precisely becuase it is so tasty and good for you.

7:50 PM  

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