How the "Iraq surge" really worked

Way back in the days of the shtetl, Yankel a simple Jew came to his rabbi for advice.

"Rabbi," he said. "I can't stand it. My small hovel is too small for my large family. I'm going crazy." What should I do."

The rabbi replied: "Move your chickens into the house."

Yankel said, "What? How will that help?"

"Don't ask questions. This is da'as Torah!"

So Yankel moved the chickens into the house.

The next week, he was back at the Rabbi's office.

"Rabbi, things are awful, the clucking! the smells! The chicken dreck all over the place! None of us can get any sleep..."

"Yankel, now take your cow and bring it inside. No, don't argue. Da'as Torah!"

So Yankel did as he was told, with the expected results.

The next week: "Now I'm shoveling cow dreck! and rolling over on the chickens in my sleep, if I can get any sleep!"

"Bring that old skinny horse of yours inside now. Da'as Torah!"

After a week of getting kicked by the nervous nag, plus rolling around in various types of animal litter, Yankel headed off to the rabbi in great anger, ready to tell off the rabbi and convert to the Russian Orthodox faith, or, even worse, Reform Judaism. But as he burst into the rabbi's study, before he could open his mouth, the rabbi gave new instructions:

"OK, Yankel. Take all those animals out of your house now."

A week later, Yankel encountered the rabbi in the village market.

"Rabbi!" He exclaimed with a happy face. "You are great! Your advice is great! You are truly a giant of Torah! I can't believe how much room I now have, and how clean and quiet the house is!"